I really need to forget about Bach.

Last week I broke out of my silly school-related funk by hitting the beach (and cutting afternoon classes in the process). I simply rented a bike and cycled to the jetty, my favourite thinking corner. However, while I cycled past the cable-skiing park, I briefly contemplated ditching my bike for a scintillating cable-ski ride.

I’ve got a mental list of new year resolutions or rather, wishes that include baking the perfect strawberry cheese cake and cable skiing. Which brings me back to what the Fab Flea told me while we night-cycled on Sunday: which is to do something new, every week. I think it’s a brilliant idea to bring a fresh new vigour and to make every moment count So last week, I night-cycled and I baked pineapple tarts with my fave bake club (my mom, my best friend and her mom). Baking eases all of us into a comfortable zone and it brings out honest communication and plenty of laughter. I am glad both my mom and I share this new love for baking. I have a couple ideas up my sleeves for the coming weeks, baking something new is in the works and potentially, jazz classes.

And as part of my ny resolutions, I have created a brand new blog which is really, a repository of things I love especially, quirky exquisite finds and to also, document something new that I’ve tried every week. I hope this will help me keep to my resolution although I think a monthly promise will likely be more realistic! I will still continue to pen personal thoughts here every time inspiration strikes but do, do hop on over to Silver-lined letters.

Credits: Dream pink bike from Thomas Hawk via Flickr.com

Work has felt like a jail cell in the last two days and when I hopped out of the bus this evening and saw that the sky was still bright and lit- I burst into a smile because it’s so nice to see the sun My smile grew wider when I saw just across the road, there was a pink bike up for sale at just $48. There just aren’t too many upsides that I envision at the moment and for now, I’m counting down till tomorrow and my little pay check which will go towards paying my traffic fine which is yet another story for another day. But for now, I am trying my darnest to stick to my ny resolution to quit whining, complain less and do more!

Best part of this internship is the not so surprising discovery that I am a true geek at heart that loves problem-solving. My heart skips a little beat when I am assigned a legal problem and am asked to draft an opinion. But I also need to stop thinking of the legal problems that I have to research and leave work to be done tomorrow till tomorrow. Pupillage matters have also been bogging me and it’s all a little hazy, crazy and mind-boggling and I feel pressed for time. Am upset at myself, and generally at the world, because I haven’t yet made up my mind (isn’t it all too soon?) and time is a-tick-tocking.

Then, I got home and received a sweet and funny card from a gem of a friend, which made me all warm and fuzzy inside. And then I saw this quote online-

Happiness is a butterfly,
which when pursued,
is always just beyond your grasp,
but which, if you will sit down quietly,
may alight upon you. – Nathaniel Hawthorne

As Julie wrote in her card, may we all have more “mmm I’m at peace with the world” moments this year. Tonight, the stars have come out to play, all soft, bespoke and sparkly and I have “Friday I’m in love” playing on loop; And I think I have just enough in me to get by tomorrow which for now, will be okay.

Credits: Wish you were here image via Oh joy!

Do you wanna be a poet and write
Do you wanna be an actor up in lights
Do you wanna be a soldier and fight for love
Do you wanna travel the world
Do you wanna be a diver for pearls
Or climb a mountain and touch the clouds above

- Tina Arena, Burn.

I love this time of the year. It’s the December magic   December- the month of christmas, surprises, celebrations and the precious sprinkle of rain in our sun-scorched city.

For me, December is also special because it’s a month of reflections and it is especially apt since christmas is about the spirit of love and forgiveness. In December, I rekindled old friendships with best friends that I love to share my journey with, who make life more fulfilling just by the gift of their presence.  And while there is an abundance of opportunities that await us on this exciting journey we call life, there is nothing more special than sharing it with the people you love. Because after all, as I also realise, it’s the people that make your life.

And I pasted the lyrics of Tina Arena’s “Burn” above, because it’s a happy reminder of Chris- who’d posted a video of it on her blog several months ago. I also want to share the inspiring message- keep dreaming and seize the day. Have a wonderful year.

Credits: “Favourite verbs” snapshot from perpetualbliss via Flickr.com

1. Cycling at east coast, wind in my hair, sipping sugar cane juice while watching the sunset.
2. Strolling into haig road hawker centre for our fave sliced fish and homemade ice lemon tea. Ah, soul food. Little traditions that run deep.
3. Pinic at the Botanics with the best pizza! in the world and growing all silent once we began devouring the pizza from Casa Verde.
4. Driving along the expressway when “Hey, Jude” comes on and we exclaim in unison because it’s Jude’s song.

With the exams drawing near, I have planned just one last blast before we charge towards that finishing line. With a flood of deadlines and a series of co-curricular commitments, I am driven to planning and scheduling each week/ weekend. What I miss most really, is doing things spontaneously, on the spur of the moment. So l said yes immediately after the fabulous flea asked if I was up for cycling after our bakefest this weekend. I have all these little plans and thought bubbles in my head (mostly about fun stuff and sometimes about unresolved areas in the law because I am a geek like that) and this weekend, I’ll be taking one of my first, preliminary steps towards acting on my plan to be less like Hurricane Katrina and maybe a bit more like Julie in the kitchen. Wish me luck

(Will not be updating this for awhile till the exams are over, sch is reeling me in but I am lovin’ every moment. Then again, I always say I won’t update and somehow I find myself back here!)

Credits: Photo image courtesy of alexa via Flickr.com

“I am still a hopeless romantic. I used to believe that love was the highest value. I still believe that love is the highest value. I don’t expect to be happy. I don’t imagine that I will find love, whatever that means, or that if I do find it, it will make me happy. I don’t think of love as the answer or the solution. I think of love as a force of nature – as strong as the sun, as necessary, as impersonal, as gigantic, as impossible, as scorching as it is warming, as drought-making as it is life-giving. And when it burns out, the planet dies.

My little orbit of life circles love. I daren’t get any closer. I’m not a mystic seeking final communion. I don’t go out without SPF 15. I protect myself.

But today, when the sun is everywhere, and everything solid is nothing but its own shadow, I know that the real things in life, the things I remember, the things I turn over in my hands, are not houses, bank accounts, prizes or promotions. What I remember is love – all love – love of this dirt road, this sunrise, a day by the river, the stranger I met in a cafe. Myself, even, which is the hardest thing of all to love, because love and selfishness are not the same thing. It is easy to be selfish. It is hard to love who I am. No wonder I am surprised if you do.”

-From Lighthousekeeping by Jeanette Winterson.

Warning: brief musings about “500 days of summer” in the next paragraph, no obvious spoilers but skip to the next para if you don’t wish to be spoiled at all.

Caught “500 days of summer” recently and it raised several questions about the notions of love and soulmates. Throughout the show, I found myself rooting for Tom because I empathise most with Tom in the Tom-Zoe relationship. I thought the show quite cleverly reversed the gender roles because it is usually the girl who is pining for the guy and not the other way around. I liked how there was a healthy blend of both realism and hope. While watching it, I wondered whether the notion of soulmates is just one big, romanticised ideal, grossly inflated by the media and romantic movies. However, apart from the tacky last line, I liked how the ending was scripted with a dose of humour (albeit tacky, yes) and a silver lining of hope and looking forwards.

A few days ago, I was searching within myself and wondering if I believe in love. Last night, over a long awaited catch up with Weibs and Soomz- two of my very best friends in law school, we shared our views and perspectives on love, soulmates and the institution of marriage. And I found myself realising that despite all that cynicism due in part to my own experience and in part, to the depressing stories I’ve been hearing of marriages and relationships breaking up, I am still an inner romantic at heart. But because I inherited my grandmother’s sentimental nature, I get horribly attached to people and things easily so I need to equip myself with the requisite “SPF protection”. I won’t take the plunge until I know for sure that the other party’s sure, so please don’t reel me in and keep a distance until you know, until you’re sure, because when I fall, I fall hard.

I’m glad I’d finally thought it through and came to a resolution on my own

Credits: Pre-dawn or pre-dusk shot from ming_hui via Flickr.com

“I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.”

- From the Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Just struck me just now that life should be spent living and not waiting. I read that we cannot control what happens to us, but we can control our response to what is thrown our way. In that way, human beings are “response-able” or responsible for how we shape our destiny and colour the canvas that is our future.

A very, very close friend of mine is leaving the country for a long period of time. Just the thought of it brings a slight twinge to my heart but thinking about it also reminds me that the best kind of relationships are those that are not eroded by time, geographical or physical distance. Finding a kindred spirit is always a sweet surprise, a present to cherish and behold. And that connection is one that I am glad for, glad that it happened. Maybe such moments may not be relived or re-created because who knows what will be, but that heartfelt connection is one that will always be treasured and special.

In the meanwhile, I want to continue living, living in the moments that life brings instead of just existing and drifting. Last night, I read that I should treat each school semester as my last. Just like how I should treat every day as my last, because as morbid as it sounds, life is not a dress rehearsal but a terminal illness. There is no point in nurturing fears that poison the reserviour of my mind and the only fear I should be afraid of is that of inhibitions that stop me from living in the now. I want to keep finding beauty even when it’s not pretty or imperfect. I want to grow in gratitude every day for all the good in my life that I have grown accustomed to, learn to share that goodness and give some of that back; most of all, be passionate about something or just one thing that makes my heart beat, to love, beyond words, be happy and just be, me.

You know how sometimes you want to immortalise a moment?

I had one of those moments just now, post-lunch, sitting outside the Summit (our  quasi “cafeteria”) in school with two other friends, sipping Teh Bing, laughing and sharing. Our quick lunch morphed into a 2-odd hours affair but it was so heartwarming and crazy funny to know that there are two other people who share my alien quirks or rather idiosyncrasies.

And my motto? To find joy in the simple things. And lovely conversations outside our dingy toilet or an overseas call from a best friend with a grand invite and who’d instantly placed a stop on my over-thinking and OCD inclinations are little everyday moments that light a big smile and warms me up inside.

Most commentaries on the American idol finale that I’ve read are centred on the “shock” of the results show and Adam’s surprise loss. Instead of reading “Congratulations Kris”, the headlines read “Why Adam lost.”

In the last 3 weeks or so, my mom and I will gather at my neighbour’s place and all of us will huddle in front of her tv to watch American Idol with her two little girls. All of us were rooting for Kris after Alison was eliminated from the Final 3. I took a liking to the boy next door from Conway, Arkansas after I heard his version of “Falling Slowly”.

Kris has an easy charm that reminds me of both Jason M’raz and John Mayer. In the mass of idol contestants, he doesn’t stand out from the crowd. When cast next to the glamorous Adam Lambert, Kris is the less celebrated, less vocally talented and less-talked about singer. And him winning one of the world’s biggest singing competition inspires hope.

Kris has an everyday appeal that I was instinctively drawn to (as with plenty other supporters). Granted, Adam has a spectacular vocal technique that seemingly overshadows Kris, but juxtaposed against Adam’s vocal theatrics, Kris just seemed more more “real” to me. He may not possess Adam’s outstanding vocal chops but Kris is a pretty damn good singer too and he sings so soulfully from his heart (as his rendition of Ain’t No Sunshine revealed).

I’ve been trying to rationalise and put down in words why I found myself doggedly rooting for him that I’d actually got up early to catch the live telecast. I let out a big whoop when the winner was announced and my heart swelled, with hope. Because him winning sends out a message, that if the average, soulful boy next door can win the world’s biggest contest, the seemingly insurmountable difficulties we face in daily life can be overcome with a bit of effort and hard work. Technique and talent are important no doubt, but effort and sincerity goes a long way. Kris’s underdog persona and soulful appeal particularly resonates during difficult times where economic sentiments are woeful and newspaper headlines are about war, foreclosures, misguided parents and the dreadful swine flu virus.

Maybe that’s why he won. It’s not because Adam lost it. But rather Kris won, because he sang so sincerely from his heart.